Friday, June 4, 2010

reflections, part 2

Yes, yes, yall and you don't stop...

Sorry, every so often my brain switches to a new genre of music. I tend to listen to seven specific genres: classical, jazz, alternative rock, hip-hop, christian, and mo-town/funk, and right now my brain has switched to hip-hop. It seems to always coincide with the last couple weeks of a quarter.

A couple weeks ago I had the privilege to attend the senior banquet held by my church, the Vine. And when my time came to share my thank you's, I froze for a little bit but this time I remembered what I wanted to say, thankfully.

A couple years ago, I tried to transfer to some snooty conservatory of the east coast, and was consequently rejected. I remember feeling so dejected, as if the world was simply telling me that my efforts and I weren't good enough, after all, this conservatory was cream of the crop. This is where real professionals were trained, but I wasn't allowed into the figurative VIP club of my craft. Dejected, I wondered whether I could be a part of that world. And no, that is not intended to be a Little Mermaid reference, but I guess it became one anyway.

Two years later, I stood in front of my church congregation, realizing that God had kept me in Los Angeles for those two years to continue nurturing my heart in ways I could have never imagined. He pruned me, placed me in the fire, and continued to nurture me in a way that wouldn't have happened had I left. One of the themes and yearly goals we had at The Vine a couple years ago was implementing a kingdom perspective. That is, a perspective that goes beyond the temporary whims of this world, and lasts for eternity. And it was through that I realized that while the world had rejected my efforts, God didn't reject me. Because in the end, our brokenness is made new through His infinite grace, and that means that I do have worth in the eternal kingdom, not the temporary world.

And without this realization, I wouldn't have realized that all this time, God's been faithful to me, patiently teaching me that His plan for me is much greater than the one I had for myself.

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