A few weekends ago, I was invited to participate in quite possibly one of the most life -changing Christian conferences of my life. I've been to youth retreats where everybody is so on fire for God after the great worship and the awesome sermons, but I lacked the maturity and the discipline to maintain that passion once we returned home. But this was different. It was the Resolved conference which is hosted annually by Grace Community Church, and I was contacted to play viola in one of their worship sets. As compensation I would be allowed to attend the conference for free and be able to listen to awesome pastors such as John MacArthur, Rick Holland, Steve Lawson, C.J. Mahaney, and John Piper. So I say, why not, and sign up. What an amazing experience to be able to play with such gifted musicians and worshippers of God. I was able to chat with a few of them (one of whom is incidentally a classmate of my sister's at USC) about what it means to offer up classical music in particular as an act of worship, but that's another post.
I'm in that little string section on the left hand side of the stage!
At the conference, my heart was opened, challenged, and shocked by the nature of my own sin, and how in God's infinite sovereignty, uses that grace for his own glory. He ordained Satan's and Adam's fall, so that thousands of years later His own son would die to overcome those original sins on the cross to reveal his own glory. A beautiful illustration of that is when Joseph's brothers meant to sell slavery out of the evilness of their own hearts, God used that very sin to preserve life in Egypt(Genesis 45). How mind boggling is that? That a God who is so holy, uses his own sovereign power to ordain sin for his glory. I'm still so blown away by this, and so much more accutely aware of my sins that I can't help but rely more on God's grace and further glorify Him for his conquering of death and sin.
Whew, that was a mouthful of theology.
Unfortunately, I couldn't stay for the whole conference because I had to help out with my mom's vacation bible school at her church here in Saratoga (but I did download the rest of the sermons!) That was an interesting learning experience all on its own. My mom put me in charge of running games for the kids and it was a total nightmare for me. On the first day I tried to run the games that the booklet suggested, and every single one of them frowned upon the ideas and they just ended up playing freeze tag. I called up Pastor Jay (I bet he's frowning upon that title in this post) for some ideas on the next day and he suggested building a maze that they would have to go through blindfolded. The simple idea of just bumping into tables repeatedly seemed to amuse them, so that worked out in the end. However, Wednesday was just as frustrating as the first day, and by this point I was pretty reluctant to return to work with, as I called them, "those brats". But a message that I heard that night about loving others because God first loved us (1 John 4:7-12) really convicted me to rethink my attitude and persevere in working with those kids. And by the end of Friday, I was actually sad that my time with them was ending. Despite their unwillingness to listen and just want to play tag all day long, despite them nearly ripping off my shirt (don't ask), all of them were just such sweet kids that I wanted to play with some more. What a lesson in humility (I had forgotten that when you work with kids, you're going to be the target of all their jokes) and grace. What a painful reminder of my shortcomings, and the redemption that comes with trusting in God.
After VBS ends, I usually have the day to myself which I would spend with friends. I don't know about you, but I would say that three of my closest friends are non-believers. On two separate occasions, I put myself in positions to be a good witness (Matthew 5:13-16), to show how much I had grown in college as a leader within my ministries, only to once again fall short. I won't deny that I drank on two separate occasions. But worse of all is that when I was playing video games I let my temper get the best of me and just began spouting out obscenities. How stupid and immature is that. What kind of a Christian am I portraying if all I'm doing is showing a worse character than non-believers? The only comfort I have is having faith in knowing that He will somehow redeem that situation for His glory, like He redeemed the entire human race by crushing His own son on the cross. I am not perfect. Christians are not perfect. Far from it. But we worship a God who is perfect, and redeems us for our shortcomings.
What a summer of learning already. And as it continues on, I anticipate becoming more and more anti-social (probably because nobody's in San Jose) and just immersing myself in books, books, and more books. On the agenda in no particular order:
- The entire bible (That's right. Finishing up Deuteronomy and Joshua tonight.)
- Spectacular Sins, Desiring God by John Piper
- Humility by C.J. Mahaney
- Worship Matters by Bob Kauflin
- To Know You More by Andy Park
- Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, The Abolition Of Man, The Great Divorce, The Problem of Pain, Miracles, A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis
- The Prodigal God by Tim Keller (can somebody let me borrow Reason for God? Forgot to order that on Amazon)
- Right Thinking In A World Gone Wrong, The Jesus You Can't Ignore by John MacArthur
- Spiritual Disciplines by Donald Whitney (for the third time)
- Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan
- The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul
No comments:
Post a Comment